


The Wisdom in Having a Healthy Fear of Lily Evans

by The_Sarcastic_Witch



Series: Shovel Talk Series [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, BAMF Lily Evans Potter, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Lily Evans had glasses, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), My First Fanfic, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Shovel Talk, Wolfstar is canon, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26177215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Sarcastic_Witch/pseuds/The_Sarcastic_Witch
Summary: In which Lily Evans is very creative, Remus just wants to read his book, James is occasionally oblivious, and Sirius can be a bit of a menace.
Relationships: Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Shovel Talk Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900993
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	The Wisdom in Having a Healthy Fear of Lily Evans

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovely reader! This is my first ever fanfic, so please be kind. I'm all for constructive criticism though! Also, if anyone has any Wolfstar or Scorbus prompts they'd like to see filled, let me know in the comments!  
> Thanks,  
> TSW  
> P.S. I do not own Harry Potter, but if I did, I wouldn't be a TERF.

Sirius stared critically at the piece of parchment that contained the beginnings of a list of what they needed to buy in Hogsmeade for their next prank. Usually Moony would scold him for not paying attention in class, or Prongs would conspire with him, but Ancient Runes was the only class he didn’t have with any of the other Marauders, or any of his other friends. Although, he thought happily, as of exactly two days and-he checked his watch-five hours ago, he couldn’t exactly call Remus just a friend anymore. He grinned at the thought of his boyfriend. No, the only other sixth year Gryffindor in his Arithmancy class was Lily Evans. And she was definitely not a friend. He had absolutely no idea what Prongs saw in her, or why Moony was friends with her. Well, that was probably because they were both such swots. But he could understand why Wormtail was terrified of her. Evans’ glares were legendary for a reason. Oh well, he didn’t have to understand his brother or his best friend. He just had to love them.  
He turned his thoughts back to the matter at hand. Would troll dung or thestral piss work better? As he ruminated, a ball of parchment hit him in the head and dropped neatly onto his desk. He opened the note, and read:  
Black, come behind greenhouse #3 at four pm. Come alone, and do not be late. -L.E.  
The hell? What did Evans want with him? From most anyone else, he would assume it was a trap, but he knew that, though she was an annoying swot, Evans would never ambush him. If she were going to hurt him, it would be in the Great Hall or the Common Room, for everyone to see. Four pm was right after the last class of the day, which happened to be this one. He thought about it and decided he really didn’t have anything to worry about. That is, as long as he showed. A pissed off Lily Evans was most definitely something to worry about. The last time James asked her out, his ears were lime green with hot pink polka dots for a week.  
After class ended, he hurried to the greenhouses, wanting to get there before Evans. When he arrived, panting, behind Greenhouse #3, Evans was leaning up against a tree, twirling her wand.  
“Well, Evans, here I am. Whadaya want?” He asked. She gave him a blatantly false smile and gestured towards the ground with her wand.  
“Have a seat, Black.” He looked warily at her and sat down. She spread her robes under her and gracefully sat opposite him. “Let’s get down to business, shall we? I know that you and Remus finally got your heads out of your arses and got together and-”  
“Wait, what? How the hell do you know that? We haven’t even told James yet,” Sirius interrupted.  
“I know everything. Rem has learned pretty well not to question it. I imagine you will too. Eventually. Now, do shut up and let me get to the point.” She leaned forward, green eyes narrowed behind her round, silver glasses. “For reasons I personally cannot fathom, Rem has given you his heart. If you so much as put a single scratch in it, I will hunt you down and cast a number of very nasty hexes on a certain rather important part of your anatomy and they won’t be easy to remove.” she said matter-of-factly. Sirius stared at her, slightly terrified. “Got it?” Evans asked sharply. He nodded enthusiastically. “Good. Now, if Rem asks you, this conversation never happened. Also, how the hell have you managed to keep this from Potter for two whole days? The two of you are attached at the hip,” Evans said. He shrugged.  
“Honestly, I have no idea. Moony wanted to wait a bit, get used to it before we tell anyone, and when I’m doing something for Moony, its as easy as breathing. It just seems natural to make him happy,” Sirius told her, grinning like a fool at the thought of the tiny smile Moony wore whenever he was truly happy. Evans squinted at him, took off her glasses, polished them, and squinted at him again. Then she nodded once, stood abruptly, and said “Perhaps I misjudged you, Black.” She turned on her heel and marched off in the direction of the castle. Sirius stared after her, baffled. He shook his head and headed to the Quidditch Pitch, where he knew he’d find James practicing with the team and Remus reading in the stands. On the way, he considered what Evans had said to him. He had no doubt she’d follow through with her threat, but he hadn’t realized she and Moony were so close. She had called him Rem. He wouldn’t even let the Marauders call him that! He’d said that only one person was allowed to call him Rem, and it sure as hell wasn’t them. That had been in third year! How had he not known about such a big part of his best friend’s life?! Before he knew it, he was at the Quidditch pitch and his feet were carrying him towards the stands. Wormy had detention, so Moony was the only one there. He grinned and waved at his boyfriend, who waved back absently, nose stuck in some book. He was always reading some book. This one was written by some guy named Willy Shakeysword, or something. Sirius slid in next to him. Moony looked up from his book at Sirius and cocked his head.  
“Why the hell do you look like there’s a horde of goblins after you, Pads?” Sirius opened his mouth, remembered what Evans had said about telling Moony, and shut it again, likely looking even more terrified at the thought of her.  
“I want to tell James,” he said truthfully. “About us, I mean.” Remus looked skeptically over the edge of the book at him.  
“Ok. I know that’s not what’s scaring you, but you don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to,” Remus said gently. “How should we tell him?” he continued. Sirius grinned sharply, going into prank mode.  
“Oh, we’ll give him the shock of a lifetime…”  
* * *  
James Potter dragged himself up the stairs to his dormitory. He was highly annoyed. For some stupid reason, his best friends had, for the first time since The Prank three months ago, not been waiting for him at when Quidditch practice finished. Pete was in detention, but Moony and Padfoot had absolutely no excuse. He somehow surmounted the last stair, and stormed to his dormitory, ready to give them a piece of his mind. He threw open the door and was met with a sight that he would later swear scarred him forever. Moony had Padfoot pressed up against the wall and was snogging his face off. And from the looks of it, Pads certainly had no objections. James stood there in shock for a few seconds, and then started to sputter. Moony and Padfoot broke apart and looked at him. Moony looked at him apologetically. Sirius smirked.  
“Hiya, Prongs,” he greeted James. Moony pointed at Pads.  
“It was his idea!” he said nervously. James continued to sputter. After a tension-filled minute, James looked at them sternly.  
“So, are you two together-together, or just getting off together?”  
“Together-together,” they answered at the same time.  
“Okay. Congratulations, don’t hurt each other, don’t you dare do anything in my bed, and” James suddenly stopped talking as he came to a realization.  
* * *  
On the other side of Gryffindor tower, Lily Evans sat on her bed doing homework when a loud cry split the air.  
“YOU TWO ABANDONED ME TO SUFFER ALONE THE WHOLE WALK FROM THE PITCH TO THE CASTLE SO YOU COULD SNOG?!?!?!?!”  
She snorted.


End file.
